How I became an artist
How did I become an artist?
When did I start?
As far as I remember I was always drawing, just like any other children in the world.
Even after I learned to write (at the basic level) at the age of four, I did not quit drawing and creating.
Perhaps, it was a form of therapy for me.
I lost both of my parents when I just turned four which led me to live rather unusual life.
I could not understand much of what was going on. I felt if there were knots in my heart that never seemed to disappear.
Drawing seemed to help the knots to be loosen, at least for a while.
I did not have many friends as I felt there was nothing in common between us except our age and the school we attend together. I was precocious child.
I spent much of my spare time for daydreaming, as well as drawing, painting, and writing poems.
I was preoccupied with images in my mind that I had to bring it out to a piece of paper, either in the forms of art or words. I created dresses for my tiny dolls. I spent whole summer buildling a bridge for the small stream running behind my foster parents' country estate.
They were my way of expressing my deep resided emotions, since I confided my feeling neighter to friends nor to my foster parents.
The nature and the animals were my best friends as I knew they understood me.
Perhaps, the reality was too much a pain that I had to find a way to escape from it.
From the common sense of the world, my childhood was not ideal, but without it, I probably would not have pursured art.
Later, I married and became a mother of four children. I loved my children, but motherhood was a big challenge for me as it seemed I had to live my childhood again, although I did not notice that was what's happening.
I needed outlet for easing my internal conflicts. And besides the nature, the art was always there for me.
From this perspective, I am grateful for my experience.
Perhaps, there is no experience wasteful. Everything has a purpose and at the end, even the seemingly negative experiences are sanctified and becomes meaningful, eventually.
I am thankful for my God who gave me life and walked next to me throughout my life although I did not see him nor felt his presence time to time, but he was there especially in a midst of darkness.
I believe our lives are precious no matter how bad they get.
And our sufferings have meaning and they are purposeful.
I believe art helps us to calm our minds and mends our souls.
I love art and I continue to create, thus I am an artist.
And mind you, my formal education was not the reason I became an artist, but my urge to create.
After all, that is how we all become someone.
It all starts within. 😁
